Sloshing Buckets.

To prevent sloshing, you must stop and empty your buckets.

At first this may sound like ridiculous advice, but it has been one of the most influential comments made to me in my educational journey. The idea is that people dip into their well of life that is full of joys, messes, hopes, concerns, celebrations and challenges and deposit a bit of their story in our "helper" buckets. This is a great honor, which is why the advice is so important. As days, weeks and months go by more and more stories fill our buckets. If we are not intentional the buckets can fill to the brim and begin to slosh. When I get overwhelmed or feel like my heart is broken with the people who allow me into their lives, I remember to empty my buckets. 

Emptying my bucket in Waco looked much different then it does here on Lanai. I would normally go for walks with my dog, process with my roommate, grab dinner and drinks with friends, pray or simply escape for the afternoon at a movie and let the day melt away. This is not the case here. Here we have to get creative. Walks still work, but I miss my Ladybug. My roommates are fantastic, but we eat, work and play together so it's difficult to turn off the work mode. And as for going out for a night on the town, well that is quite limited. You never know what will be said on the "Coconut Wireless" the next day, for it has incredible speed and inaccuracy. On an island of 3000 people there are not a ton of places to take refuge from the day, but we have found one place. This is one place where talk of work is not allowed. Stories of the day are kept silent. Frustrations are put away. Yes, in this one place we all empty our buckets. 

Our special place has a nickname that is dear to us all, Bubs. It’s a place that is not flashy by any means. In fact, it is broken in like a favorite chair. It is not quiet like you may think. There are pops, whistles, creaks and rattles along with the steady beat of a favorite song. This special place where together all three of us have found refuge is our little car, Bubs. 

It is here where we can relax, breathe and feel freedom. No one is watching us. No one can hear us. For a moment, we are alone. We sing, laugh, dance and let the day melt away. There are not many roads on Lana'i but by far the best drive is down to Manele beach on the 440. The road stretches for miles and is lined by pine trees that stand like soldiers at attention. Looking out the window I am mesmerized by the vivid colors of red, blue, green and yellow. The basin, sky, trees and sun all compliment each other and I am reminded of God's creativity. The best part comes about 15 minutes down the 440...yes, it is the best part. It causes us to be silent. We stop mid sentence. Turn the radio down and approach the hill. As we putter up to the top, there is a break and suddenly the vastness of the ocean appears. With out fail we all seem to gasp as if its the first time we have made the drive. At that moment, I realize how small we are and how big God is.

HWY 440

It's a beautiful island...

During my first visit to Lana'i a local man shared with me his thoughts about the island. With sullen eyes and an exasperation in his voice he said, "It's a beautiful island, but there are deep things."At the time I had a brief and growing understanding of what he could possibly mean but honestly could not understand the value or weight of his statement. If not careful on Lana'i you can be wooed by the fresh air, blue skies, pine trees that reach the heavens and quaint atmosphere. It is true that the sights are beautiful and I have never felt so connected to God's creativity, but there are realities that reach deep down into the brokenness of people and systems.

My heart is breaking for the people here. My heart is on fire for justice. My heart is stirred by a Liberating Jesus. My heart is overflowing with care and concern. My heart is seeking truth. My heart is full. Tonight, my heart is tired.

We are not facing anything more difficult, threatening or outlandish on Lana'i compared to home or another city. Everything just seems to be magnified here on this small tight-knit island. Lana'i is one big domino train. Everything effects everyone at some point.

This is my prayer today for our team and for the people of Lana'i-

Be strong and let your heart take courage, All you who hope in the LORD.- Psalms 31:24

My favorite day of the week.

I am typically not a fan of questions such as, "What is your favorite...?" But, if someone were to ask me what my favorite day of the week is since moving to Lana'i I could answer with boldness. Wednesday. No, it's not because it’s the mid week, hump day or anything else that signifies the nearing of the weekend. It's my favorite day because it starts off with the most important meal of the day, breakfast. We rise early on Wednesdays and arrive at the church which is being filled with smells that are reminiscent of home. A stellar cooking team is usually at work preparing chocolate chip pancakes, Filipino sausage, cocoa and juice. The menu varies but the customers are loyal. 

As the clock nears seven the quite of morning is replaced with little feet running, belly laughs and instant joy. The children have come and they are ready to eat. They look forward to each Wednesday morning with great anticipation. Mainly the youth of the island join us, but its open to everyone. You don't have to be a certain age, denomination or ethnicity. All are welcome. 

The pastor always begins with a devotional reading then the feasting begins. My favorite part of this special day is the time we get with the youth while they eat. We discuss the upcoming day and share together in the joys and sorrows. Who knew being in kindergarten could be so tough?! This time is extremely special because many of the youth here have a home life that leaves much to be desired. I often wonder if we are the first ones to ask them about their day or offer a hug as they depart from the church and head off to school. The church is only one or two blocks from the school campus so all of the children walk together. The older ones look after the younger ones as they cross the street. Wednesday breakfast is a true example of community. It warms their bellies, but it is so much more than simply a meal. It is love.

One Person.

A friend recently asked me to describe one person I had met here on the island. Picking one person to describe is a difficult task. Each person has been unique and simply fantastic. The culture reflects a blend consisting of Filipino, Japanese and Hawaiian traditions. I find the culture refreshing. People actually take time out of their day to sit and share with you. It is called "talk story" here on the island. It is not unusual for someone to drop by your home unannounced and stay for hours talking story. We have encountered these special moments several times already. I love it. Seriously, people actually sit and talk. They do not glance at their watches or appear to be preoccupied with what is happening next in the day. There is a sense of real presence and for those of you who know me well, I dig that. 


Yesterday we had the pleasure of meeting Ms. Edna. What a precious soul Ms. Edna is. She stands about 4'8'' tall, hair tied neatly in a bun with chocolate brown eyes that seem deep as the ocean. You can tell by her hands that she has worked the pineapple fields and has had a difficult work life. Oh, her spirit. What a lady! She shared with us about her 2 sons on Honolulu and about her daughter in California. She recounted to us about all the great things her children are doing afar. Ms. Edna beamed when she shared about her granddaughter who is now Captain of the volleyball team despite the fact that she takes after Ms. Edna in height. 


Once she was done boasting about her children and all they were accomplishing, she released a deep sigh. With the release of her breath and shrug of her shoulders she softly said, "look at me...I just scrub floors. Oh well". My heart broke with her at that very moment. She is a phenomenal woman with a servant’s heart. 


We happened to run into her today and she was even more delightful then I remembered from the day prior. Ms. Edna impacted me on many levels. She represents the long past of the island of Lana’i with a glimpse towards the hope of a future within the stories of her children. She is a pillar of strength that sacrificed much for her family throughout the years. Her eyes revealed that she has seen so much life and were full of wisdom. Hope was in her voice when she spoke of her children yet there was also a deep sadness for the grief she felt from being alone on the island since they have moved away. This is not a unique story to the Kapuna's of the island (elderly). In order to survive the Keiki (youth) leave which breaks the strong family units that have existed for generations. 

*Names have been changed.

The Market.

Shopping in Lanai is quite the experience. I will never again forsake the great wonders of an HEB. The choice is limited, aisles are small and prices are high but the experience is worth it. There are three options here in Lanai. One has better produce and baked goods while the other has fresh sushi on certain days and plays 1940's music that transcends you. No matter which one you choose, there are certain rules to shopping in Lanai. Rule number 1. ALWAYS check dates! 2. The best day to shop is on Wednesday afternoon (Barge day) or Thursday. 3. Get out of the locals way. We survived our first real shopping experience this week after we got a working refrigerator. We actually found it entertaining. Its the little things on Lanai that bring great joy.


The third option is truly special. You must wake up at dawn to be there in time and you have to search each week for the location moves every Saturday. This past Saturday we rose early, picked up a new friend and headed to the Filipino stands. In our home we call it the Filipino Farmers Market, but that is almost too generous. Each Saturday the locals gather with tarps on the ground and sell what they have grown in their gardens or found from wild trees. In addition, there are three stands that are filled with smells of local cuisine. Filipino do-nuts, Papaya Chicken, Crab wantons, friend banana and more.

We approached with eagerness and an awareness that we were out of our element. Each one of us tried to buy something from the vendors in hopes to have more time to introduce ourselves and talk story for a while. This proved to be important. Kelsey and I picked out what looked to be string green beans that you can find on the mainland. A local man standing back from the crowd swiftly informed us that we were to not eat the out side of the bean, for we would get sick from it. Oh, how I appreciated his ability to see the novice in us.

The hospitality of the ladies was humbling. Each vendor opened their pots and pans and urged us to try it all! I made the mistake of asking while chewing, "What is this?" Kelsey begged me after that, "Just eat it, we don't want to know." Which is true, somethings we didn't want to know. In the end one of the ladies fixed us a big plate and once we offered to pay, she refused. She pointed her index finger in the air with eyes beaming inner joy and said, "He will bless us". I have never had an experience like that before. The sights, smells, culture and unfamiliar territory. It was exhilarating.

The convenience, choice and freshness cannot compare to that of an HEB but the trip was totally worth it.

The 26th year.

Last year was one of the first big ones of adult life, 25. Twenty- five is the year that you get to check a new box. You know, when you fill out forms at church, random surveys or other items that force you to fit in some box labeled 18-24, 25-29, 30-39 etc. As a young girl it was the magic year I always hoped to reach. I thought back then that I would have it all figured out by 25. Complete with a fabulous career, husband, house, kids, dog and set on a path of success. Well, I am on a path of success but it doesn't look anything like the notions I conjured as a young naive girl. I don't have a husband, house or kids but I am on my way to a fabulous career and I have a dog. Two out of 5 can't be that bad, right? My 25Th year actually shaped up to be quite a year full of events such as internships, concerts with friends, graduation, new found community, fantastic opportunities through Baylor, renewed sense of family and so much more. While at first the 25Th year seemed daunting as if I was lacking in something on the culturally imposed timeline of life, it was actually quite lovely.

The 26Th year is looking more promising than ever and I am excited to see what God has in store. This birthday was like none other I have ever celebrated. Beyond the obvious fact that I am living in Hawaii, the whole day was rather unique including a spontaneous Happy Birthday serenade by kiddos outside of the local library. The day was also filled with many texts, voicemails and calls from home that warmed my heart. For the bulk of the day, myself along with the two other interns (Kelsey and Brianna) interviewed several of the locals here in Lanai. We got to sit and hear people "talk story" about days of old while graciously allowing us to enter into their world. It was a long day but one that I will treasure for many years to come.

After our work day was done, the girls surprised me with dinner on the beach. We picked up a pizza from one of the restaurants and hit the 440 with a sense of carefree urgency. We arrived just in time to see the sun slowly fade into the horizon. We laughed, took pictures, sang once again and talked about the year to come. It was simple and beautiful.

My hopes for the 26Th year are high, for it is a year that has the potential to be life changing. I don't know what the next 365 days are going to hold, but I know I want to be present for it. I don't want to be so worried about the next that I miss the here and now. I want to soak it all in.

Redefining ordinary.

My life thus far has been filled with brief moments of great excitement, twists and turns, but more often than not I live life in the ordinary. The daily patterns consists of: Get up. Walk Ladybug. School. Walk Ladybug. Work. Walk Ladybug. Homework. Walk Ladybug. Repeat. Days click away at a quick and steady pace with routines that easily fall in to place. This is no longer the case.

Nothing is the same. January 2, 2010 shifted everything. All that I have known, found comfort in and learned to rely on over the past few years is temporarily gone. I am taking on a great adventure. One might even say, a "life changing" adventure. I packed my bags, dropped off Ladybug with the Rebels, said "See you in April" to dear friends/family and moved to Lana'i City, Hawaii for a time period that is just shy of four months. My hope for this blog is to capture my experience of life on Lana'i and share it with all of you who I so dearly love and miss.

It is here in Lana'i where I find myself redefining ordinary.



January 11, 2010 addition:

My roommate Sarah inspired me to purchase Listening to Your Life by Frederick Buechner before I left the mainland. Today the meditation beautifully captured how I am feeling about this whole experience.

Your Own Journey* January 11

What I propose to do now is to try listening to my life as a whole, or at least to certain key moments of the first half of my life thus far, for whatever of meaning, of holiness, of God, there may be in it to hear. My assumption is that the story of any one of us is in some measure the story of us all.

For the reader, I suppose, it is like looking through someone else's photograph album. What holds you, if nothing else, is the possibility that somewhere among all those shots of people you neer knew and places you never saw, you may come across something or someone you recognize. In fact- for more curious things have happened- even in a stranger's album, there is always the possibility that as the pages flip by, on one of them you may even catch a glimpse of yourself. Even if both of those fail, there is still a third possibility which is perhaps the happiest of them all, and that is that once I have put away my album for good, you may in the privacy of the heart take out the album of your own life and search it for the people and places you have loved and learned from yourself, and for those moments in the past- many of them half forgotten- through which you glimpsed, however dimly and fleetingly, the sacredness of your own journey. - Frederick Buechner