Bloggers Block.

Hello all! Have you wondered where I have been? I know, it has been a month since I last filled you all in. I have missed sharing with you all. How are ya?

If I could sum up the past month in one word I think it would be OUTRAGEOUS. Outrageous in the most positive ways and also a little outrageous in some negative ways. This past month has been full of highs and lows that have left me feeling tapped out. I have opened my blog many times with the intention of capturing certain moments or feelings but I have ended up starring at the blank page unable to articulate anything I have been experiencing and feeling. As you may have been able to tell from my last few blogs, the girls and I have been facing some pretty tough situations. We have had to dig our heels in deep and grasp the hand of Jesus like no other. Even in the midst of some extremely difficult issues we are continuing to create some mountain top, once in a lifetime memories. I don't want to dwell in the negative so I thought I would break my blogging block by creating a list of everything that I have been thankful for this past month. So here it is...

This month I am thankful for...

The love of Jesus who accepts me broken and all.
My roommates both here and back home.
The opportunity to be here on Lanai.
Prayer.
The excitement of God's plan for my future.
The gift to love on these kiddos.
Music that has the power to transcend me.
Old friends who just understand.
The kiddos who show me a new way of looking at life daily.
Our "Charlie" on Molokai who keeps us sane.
Painting class.
Grace.
Visit from Frances.
Daily texts from home.
Situations that stretch me.
The pup that I pet on the way to work.
Tortillas from South Texas, thanks to Teran.
Sunsets that seem to melt the worries of the day away.
Laughter of kids playing outside our apartment.
Coffee.
Talk story.
Fresh fish, Pinot Noir and good laughs after a long day.
Trips to the mailbox to pick up small reminders of home.
Calls and emails full of encouragement.
Tsunami warnings that fizzle out and lead to...
Calls from home that showed me how much I am loved.
Glimpses of HOPE.
The kiddos who read to me each afternoon with their sweet voices.
Unexpected miracles.
"Auntie" being called out down the road as kids coming running towards us.
Quote bowl.
Trip to Hilo with Sharie and Greg.
Maya, the artist at the farmers market.
Beaches full of sea glass.
Kona Coffee Ice Cream.
Rainbows that remind me of God's promise.
Taize community chants.
Justice.
Random hikes.
Technology.
Fresh plumeria.
Hugs from the kiddos each day.
Love all around and in unexpected places.

Thank you all for your prayers and support during this past month. It means more than I could ever express. I am believing that God is working through us and in us as we continue to be here on the island. I know that He knows all things and that He has not forgotten about me or this island. A friend of mine posted this verse on her blog and it has been inspiring me.

Romans 8:28 "We are confident that God is able to orchestrate everything to create something good and beautiful when we love Him and accept His invitation to live according to His plan." (The Voice)

Peace and love.

B

The POWER of 3.

It is not by happen chance, accident or coincidence that myself and the other two girls are here. Each day I am more convinced as to why "we" out of all the others that were interviewed were selected. It is not because we are more intelligent, skillful, smooth in interviews or more "spiritual" than others. No, we were called to this island because we are the exact combination of people and personality for this internship at this exact place and time. 

Jokingly, I would say that this experience has had some manic tendencies. The great experiences or highs have been out of this world. The same dynamic is true for the lows. In both instances and everything in between, I am thankful for the two phenomenal women that I am having the honor of experiencing life with. We may get on each others nerves at times (WE do eat, sleep, play and work together on an 18X13 island!), but I couldn't imagine a greater team. Together we have had some wonderful experiences exploring the island, hiking, playing with the kids, etc... Together we have also experienced some fairly difficult times, during which my love and appreciation has grown for them. This past week has had its share of opposition, but we are still standing STRONG together. There is a natural balance that occurs between the three of us that couldn't have been better planned. God is good!

Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT

A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. 

Battle.

Romans 8:31-39

So what should we say about all of this? If God is on our side, then tell me: whom should we fear? If He did not spare His own Son, but handed Him over on our account, then don't you think that He will graciously give us all things with Him? Can anyone be so bold as to level a charge against God's chosen? Especially since God's "not guilty" verdict is already declared. Who has the authority to condemn? Jesus, the Liberating King, who died, but more importantly, conquered death when He was raised to sit at the right hand of God where He pleads on our behalf. So who can separate us? What can disconnect us from the Liverating King's love? Can troubles, hardships, persecution, hunger, poverty, danger, or even death? The answer is, absolutely nothing. 

The psalms says, 

On Your behalf, our lives are endangered constantly; we are like sheep awaiting slaughter.

But no matter what comes, we will always taste victory through Him who loved us. For I have every confidence that nothing- not death, life, heavenly messengers, dark spirits, the present, the future, spiritual powers, heights, depth, nor any created thing- can disconnect us from the love of God that came to us in Jesus, our Lord and Liberating King. 

Acts 6:10-20

Finally, brothers and sisters, draw your strength and might from God. Put on full armor of God to protect yourselves from the devil and his evil schemes. We're not waging war against enemies of flesh and blood alone. No, this fight is against tyrants, against authorities, against supernatural powers and demon-princes that slither in the darkness of this world, and against wicked spiritual armies that lurk about in heavenly places. 

And this is why you need to be head to-toe in the full armor of God: so you can resist during these evil days and be fully prepared to hold your ground. Yes, stand- truth, banded around your waist, righteousness as your chest plate, and feet protected in preparation to problaim the good news of peace. Don't forget to raise the sheild of faith above all else, so you will be able to extinguish flaming spears hurled at you from the wicked one. Take also the helmet of salvation and the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God. 

Pray always. Pray in the Spirit. Pray about everything in every way you know how! And keeping all this in mind, pray on behalf of God's people. Keep on praying feverishly, and be on the lookout until evil has been stayed. And please pray for me. Pray that truth will be with me before I even open my mouth. Ask the Spirit to guide me while I boldly defend the mystery that is the good news- for which I am an ambassador in chains- so pray that I can bravely pronounce the truth, as I should do.

Blessing:

May peace and love with faith be yours from God the Father and our Liberating King, Jesus. May his grace surround all who love our Lord Jesus, the Liberator, with a never-ending love.

Psalms 59:17

O my Strength, I sing praise to you;
       you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God.

Fellow travelers on this journey with me, please pray. Mahalo. 

You are what you eat.

I have grown up in an age where modern day dinner tables come equipped with airbags, seatbelts and horse power that launches you down the highway at 70 mph headed to the next event, scheduled appointment or distraction.  This may not be case for all, but even for the few that sit down at home the meal usually consists of pre-made this or chemically enhanced that. For the majority of my life I have seen grocery stores as magical places where food instantly appears, rarely if ever, giving nod to the whole agricultural processes and the economics behind it. I am now looking at food differently. I first began looking at food differently because I enjoy cooking. Picking fresh herbs, organic vegetables and delicious cheeses over pounds of salt and names I can’t pronounce but end with things such as ides, oxy's and dye # such and such make dishes come to life. In the last few years I have also been more exposed to the tragic realities of hunger and poverty. With my interests in cooking and passions for social justice, my ears have recently been perked towards food sustainability.

Before moving here many people told me that I would be feasting on fresh fruit and fish every day, because that is what they had experienced at the many resorts of Hawaii. We have had wonderful fish and some fruit, but the main cuisine here consists of rice and spam. Since being on island we have noticed that many of the keiki are hungry. There is a lack of fresh foods that are affordable. For example a single apple is over $1.00 and milk is about $8-9.00 a gallon. While that is expensive, I guess you could argue at least they have an option. That is unless it is a week like this one. The barge was unable to dock due to rough water so there has not been any fresh food in the two grocery stores on the island in over a week. Milk is no longer an option and the shelves are bare of any fresh produce.

With that being said…

We started a community garden this week at LBC! The keiki gathered around the table as Papa G told them the details of gardening. With extreme restraint they patiently listened to the kapuna share his wisdom and experience until one kid burst out with “So, what are we going to plant?” With wisdom in his eyes like an old sage, Papa G took the keiki outside and they got dirty. We started small with the kids on this day in order to expose them to the whole growing processes. Each keiki got to fertilize the soil, plant seeds and water. A plot in the back of the church is being tilled this week with hopes of being a common spot in the community that will bear quality food for the local community and food pantry. The greater hope is that it will not simply bear fruit but also be a place where God, people, creation and community can all meet as one.

All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. – Acts 4:32

Ke’aloha–Love is all around.

God never ceases to amaze me. There are times when I foolishly fail to recognize His ever presence, but the truth is He is always moving, always knowing, always loving and always present. Sitting cross-legged, talking story with a group of teens about Psalm 139, God revealed a little more of himself to me. God reminded me how valuable the youth around me are and even gently tugged on my own heart to realize the value He sees in me.

"The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread."- Mother Teresa

Together we searched the scriptures picking out verses that displayed God’s aloha for us. We discussed things of this world that make us feel less than worthy but never left it there. We always returned to what God had to say about our value and how that made us feel. Dr. Ellor would have been proud; I made sure to reach for the feeling line. During our time together, as if it was a new revelation, I was struck by the importance of children knowing how loved and valued they are. I was struck by the power of God’s words speaking into their lives through sharing of scripture, life experiences and feelings. I was struck by the common need for all of us in this diverse group to hear how God values us.

This leads me to why God never ceases to amaze me. Through this experience God is completely changing me. Don’t get me wrong I have always liked kids. I just have never been one of those girls that loose their minds around babies.  In fact during my early 20’s I got this notion in my head that I would be okay not having kids being satisfied to be a fun Aunt to my nephew Bryce. Since being on Lanai my feelings towards kids both professionally and personally have been changing. These kids are amazing and so important. My heart is being stirred to the point of considering adoption, but that is a whole different blog.

My passion for social work has been an ever-growing journey and through each learning experience I find out more about myself and my professional desires. A beauty of social work is that as a field it encompasses so much. Therefore my passions aren’t flaky, just diversified. I began with a heart for oncology/hospice care then slowly moved into this idea of community practice. Scholars of social work would call these two areas micro and macro practice. In school there has always been this forced labeling of yourself as a micro/clinical or macro/community social worker. In our own arrogance we forget that there is a middle ground of mezzo, but that doesn’t get as much hype. The reality is that its all social work and no matter what job we are doing we will do it all in some shape or form. The important part is that we are harnessing our own gifts and talents to serve in the best way possible. It is my belief that when we box ourselves in by such rigid labels that we limit our potential to be real world changers. I am seeing this more and more each day that I am on island.

The island is so small that you can’t be a lone wolf or hero of the day. Everyone needs each other, needs to share resources and wears several hats in the community. I have been pleasantly encouraged by the joy I am getting from working with the youth at both the school and church. The behavioral health team at the school is fantastic and my eyes have been opened to the powerful impact social workers can have on a school campus. It is inevitable that the work being done there generates change in the community. My community practice interests/efforts are being spurred by the interactions with the youth during the day. It is from them that I am learning so much and my passions are being fueled because they deserve the best. They deserve to have full bellies, quality education, safe homes, freedom to dream and to know they are worthy and loved.

 Through these kids, God has done a number on me and I am overjoyed.  

“To me, a faith in Jesus Christ that is not aligned with the poor…it’s nothing.”- Bono, lead singer of U2

Home.

As I have mentioned before, we look forward to going to the mailbox each day here on Lana'i. Great excitement builds within me as I hope to find a little pink slip lying in our box. This little pink slip symbolizes that something special, something greater than the size of an envelope awaits us inside. I have been anxiously waiting for a specific box that was sent with such care a while ago. I have had visions of it sailing in the pacific, landing in India or being used as a door stop in some dark postal office on the mainland. The reality is that mail can be slow here. Some mail can take 4-6 weeks, so I have not lost hope! I know my box is on the way. 

Today there was no new mail on the island. The airplane could not land due to poor weather. When you don’t have a radar system, even a bit of a rainstorm could be dangerous. Despite the motto, "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds" some things are just out of our control on Lana’i. While there was no new delivery, there was one piece of mail that didn’t make it to the box yesterday and awaited me today. The handwriting on the envelope was familiar and I felt like a young girl at camp who just recieved mail call.

The card I received said this…

Front: HOME (pictured with a great Texas flag, weathered fence and completed with bluebonnets)

Inside: Just thought I’d remind you- In case you got lost in the beauty of the island.

I don’t think it was a mistake that I received this card today, because it was perfect timing. For today marks one month of me being on Lana’i. Can you believe it? I can’t! Kels informed me today that we only have 69 more days left on island. How can something seem so long and short at the same time?

The message of HOME warmed my heart on this one month anniversary. I love my time here, but I also miss home. I am taking this experience in for all that it is…life changing moments, rich experiences and a blessing.

Don’t worry my friend, Michelle, I could never forget where HOME is.

Peace. Love. Hippiness.

Imagine a place where people are friendly, creative, and socially/environmentally conscious, the ocean stretches for miles and where shoes are optional. Sounds like a fabulous way of life if you ask me, and this is exactly how they do it Pa’ia. 

Pa'ia is a small town that greets you on the Hana highway. The streets are lined with fantastic boutiques that are filled with trinkets and treasures that I imagined taking home with me. The shop attendants were proud and willing to share about their products, company history or why they do things the way they do. The café’s were hard to choose from, but we settled on a recommendation from a dear friend. The Flatbread Co. was not only delicious, but also inspiring. The décor was welcoming with motifs that represented their values such as organic, local, healing, love, peace, community, fresh etc… The food is prepped daily with the freshest products provided by 10 local farms in the area. We sat at the hand carved wooden tables surrounded by natural light, bright colors and breathed in the peace of this small quaint town.

Deep down inside, if I were to remove cultural norms, social expectations, and ideas of worldly success and such left inside would be a little hippie.  I have always been drawn to hippie/artistic/poetic type souls. Friends who can hear music differently, maybe still see good in the world, are creative and willing to just be who they are “as is”. In fact, as I strolled the streets of Pa’ia, I imagined that several of my friends like Kim, Chelle, MK and Sarah would absolutely love this place. I have always admired these friends of mine who inhabit qualities such as these and have hoped that they would rub off on me.

I think this little town and the Beatles have it right, “All we need is love”. 

Sloshing Buckets.

To prevent sloshing, you must stop and empty your buckets.

At first this may sound like ridiculous advice, but it has been one of the most influential comments made to me in my educational journey. The idea is that people dip into their well of life that is full of joys, messes, hopes, concerns, celebrations and challenges and deposit a bit of their story in our "helper" buckets. This is a great honor, which is why the advice is so important. As days, weeks and months go by more and more stories fill our buckets. If we are not intentional the buckets can fill to the brim and begin to slosh. When I get overwhelmed or feel like my heart is broken with the people who allow me into their lives, I remember to empty my buckets. 

Emptying my bucket in Waco looked much different then it does here on Lanai. I would normally go for walks with my dog, process with my roommate, grab dinner and drinks with friends, pray or simply escape for the afternoon at a movie and let the day melt away. This is not the case here. Here we have to get creative. Walks still work, but I miss my Ladybug. My roommates are fantastic, but we eat, work and play together so it's difficult to turn off the work mode. And as for going out for a night on the town, well that is quite limited. You never know what will be said on the "Coconut Wireless" the next day, for it has incredible speed and inaccuracy. On an island of 3000 people there are not a ton of places to take refuge from the day, but we have found one place. This is one place where talk of work is not allowed. Stories of the day are kept silent. Frustrations are put away. Yes, in this one place we all empty our buckets. 

Our special place has a nickname that is dear to us all, Bubs. It’s a place that is not flashy by any means. In fact, it is broken in like a favorite chair. It is not quiet like you may think. There are pops, whistles, creaks and rattles along with the steady beat of a favorite song. This special place where together all three of us have found refuge is our little car, Bubs. 

It is here where we can relax, breathe and feel freedom. No one is watching us. No one can hear us. For a moment, we are alone. We sing, laugh, dance and let the day melt away. There are not many roads on Lana'i but by far the best drive is down to Manele beach on the 440. The road stretches for miles and is lined by pine trees that stand like soldiers at attention. Looking out the window I am mesmerized by the vivid colors of red, blue, green and yellow. The basin, sky, trees and sun all compliment each other and I am reminded of God's creativity. The best part comes about 15 minutes down the 440...yes, it is the best part. It causes us to be silent. We stop mid sentence. Turn the radio down and approach the hill. As we putter up to the top, there is a break and suddenly the vastness of the ocean appears. With out fail we all seem to gasp as if its the first time we have made the drive. At that moment, I realize how small we are and how big God is.

HWY 440

It's a beautiful island...

During my first visit to Lana'i a local man shared with me his thoughts about the island. With sullen eyes and an exasperation in his voice he said, "It's a beautiful island, but there are deep things."At the time I had a brief and growing understanding of what he could possibly mean but honestly could not understand the value or weight of his statement. If not careful on Lana'i you can be wooed by the fresh air, blue skies, pine trees that reach the heavens and quaint atmosphere. It is true that the sights are beautiful and I have never felt so connected to God's creativity, but there are realities that reach deep down into the brokenness of people and systems.

My heart is breaking for the people here. My heart is on fire for justice. My heart is stirred by a Liberating Jesus. My heart is overflowing with care and concern. My heart is seeking truth. My heart is full. Tonight, my heart is tired.

We are not facing anything more difficult, threatening or outlandish on Lana'i compared to home or another city. Everything just seems to be magnified here on this small tight-knit island. Lana'i is one big domino train. Everything effects everyone at some point.

This is my prayer today for our team and for the people of Lana'i-

Be strong and let your heart take courage, All you who hope in the LORD.- Psalms 31:24

My favorite day of the week.

I am typically not a fan of questions such as, "What is your favorite...?" But, if someone were to ask me what my favorite day of the week is since moving to Lana'i I could answer with boldness. Wednesday. No, it's not because it’s the mid week, hump day or anything else that signifies the nearing of the weekend. It's my favorite day because it starts off with the most important meal of the day, breakfast. We rise early on Wednesdays and arrive at the church which is being filled with smells that are reminiscent of home. A stellar cooking team is usually at work preparing chocolate chip pancakes, Filipino sausage, cocoa and juice. The menu varies but the customers are loyal. 

As the clock nears seven the quite of morning is replaced with little feet running, belly laughs and instant joy. The children have come and they are ready to eat. They look forward to each Wednesday morning with great anticipation. Mainly the youth of the island join us, but its open to everyone. You don't have to be a certain age, denomination or ethnicity. All are welcome. 

The pastor always begins with a devotional reading then the feasting begins. My favorite part of this special day is the time we get with the youth while they eat. We discuss the upcoming day and share together in the joys and sorrows. Who knew being in kindergarten could be so tough?! This time is extremely special because many of the youth here have a home life that leaves much to be desired. I often wonder if we are the first ones to ask them about their day or offer a hug as they depart from the church and head off to school. The church is only one or two blocks from the school campus so all of the children walk together. The older ones look after the younger ones as they cross the street. Wednesday breakfast is a true example of community. It warms their bellies, but it is so much more than simply a meal. It is love.

One Person.

A friend recently asked me to describe one person I had met here on the island. Picking one person to describe is a difficult task. Each person has been unique and simply fantastic. The culture reflects a blend consisting of Filipino, Japanese and Hawaiian traditions. I find the culture refreshing. People actually take time out of their day to sit and share with you. It is called "talk story" here on the island. It is not unusual for someone to drop by your home unannounced and stay for hours talking story. We have encountered these special moments several times already. I love it. Seriously, people actually sit and talk. They do not glance at their watches or appear to be preoccupied with what is happening next in the day. There is a sense of real presence and for those of you who know me well, I dig that. 


Yesterday we had the pleasure of meeting Ms. Edna. What a precious soul Ms. Edna is. She stands about 4'8'' tall, hair tied neatly in a bun with chocolate brown eyes that seem deep as the ocean. You can tell by her hands that she has worked the pineapple fields and has had a difficult work life. Oh, her spirit. What a lady! She shared with us about her 2 sons on Honolulu and about her daughter in California. She recounted to us about all the great things her children are doing afar. Ms. Edna beamed when she shared about her granddaughter who is now Captain of the volleyball team despite the fact that she takes after Ms. Edna in height. 


Once she was done boasting about her children and all they were accomplishing, she released a deep sigh. With the release of her breath and shrug of her shoulders she softly said, "look at me...I just scrub floors. Oh well". My heart broke with her at that very moment. She is a phenomenal woman with a servant’s heart. 


We happened to run into her today and she was even more delightful then I remembered from the day prior. Ms. Edna impacted me on many levels. She represents the long past of the island of Lana’i with a glimpse towards the hope of a future within the stories of her children. She is a pillar of strength that sacrificed much for her family throughout the years. Her eyes revealed that she has seen so much life and were full of wisdom. Hope was in her voice when she spoke of her children yet there was also a deep sadness for the grief she felt from being alone on the island since they have moved away. This is not a unique story to the Kapuna's of the island (elderly). In order to survive the Keiki (youth) leave which breaks the strong family units that have existed for generations. 

*Names have been changed.

The Market.

Shopping in Lanai is quite the experience. I will never again forsake the great wonders of an HEB. The choice is limited, aisles are small and prices are high but the experience is worth it. There are three options here in Lanai. One has better produce and baked goods while the other has fresh sushi on certain days and plays 1940's music that transcends you. No matter which one you choose, there are certain rules to shopping in Lanai. Rule number 1. ALWAYS check dates! 2. The best day to shop is on Wednesday afternoon (Barge day) or Thursday. 3. Get out of the locals way. We survived our first real shopping experience this week after we got a working refrigerator. We actually found it entertaining. Its the little things on Lanai that bring great joy.


The third option is truly special. You must wake up at dawn to be there in time and you have to search each week for the location moves every Saturday. This past Saturday we rose early, picked up a new friend and headed to the Filipino stands. In our home we call it the Filipino Farmers Market, but that is almost too generous. Each Saturday the locals gather with tarps on the ground and sell what they have grown in their gardens or found from wild trees. In addition, there are three stands that are filled with smells of local cuisine. Filipino do-nuts, Papaya Chicken, Crab wantons, friend banana and more.

We approached with eagerness and an awareness that we were out of our element. Each one of us tried to buy something from the vendors in hopes to have more time to introduce ourselves and talk story for a while. This proved to be important. Kelsey and I picked out what looked to be string green beans that you can find on the mainland. A local man standing back from the crowd swiftly informed us that we were to not eat the out side of the bean, for we would get sick from it. Oh, how I appreciated his ability to see the novice in us.

The hospitality of the ladies was humbling. Each vendor opened their pots and pans and urged us to try it all! I made the mistake of asking while chewing, "What is this?" Kelsey begged me after that, "Just eat it, we don't want to know." Which is true, somethings we didn't want to know. In the end one of the ladies fixed us a big plate and once we offered to pay, she refused. She pointed her index finger in the air with eyes beaming inner joy and said, "He will bless us". I have never had an experience like that before. The sights, smells, culture and unfamiliar territory. It was exhilarating.

The convenience, choice and freshness cannot compare to that of an HEB but the trip was totally worth it.

The 26th year.

Last year was one of the first big ones of adult life, 25. Twenty- five is the year that you get to check a new box. You know, when you fill out forms at church, random surveys or other items that force you to fit in some box labeled 18-24, 25-29, 30-39 etc. As a young girl it was the magic year I always hoped to reach. I thought back then that I would have it all figured out by 25. Complete with a fabulous career, husband, house, kids, dog and set on a path of success. Well, I am on a path of success but it doesn't look anything like the notions I conjured as a young naive girl. I don't have a husband, house or kids but I am on my way to a fabulous career and I have a dog. Two out of 5 can't be that bad, right? My 25Th year actually shaped up to be quite a year full of events such as internships, concerts with friends, graduation, new found community, fantastic opportunities through Baylor, renewed sense of family and so much more. While at first the 25Th year seemed daunting as if I was lacking in something on the culturally imposed timeline of life, it was actually quite lovely.

The 26Th year is looking more promising than ever and I am excited to see what God has in store. This birthday was like none other I have ever celebrated. Beyond the obvious fact that I am living in Hawaii, the whole day was rather unique including a spontaneous Happy Birthday serenade by kiddos outside of the local library. The day was also filled with many texts, voicemails and calls from home that warmed my heart. For the bulk of the day, myself along with the two other interns (Kelsey and Brianna) interviewed several of the locals here in Lanai. We got to sit and hear people "talk story" about days of old while graciously allowing us to enter into their world. It was a long day but one that I will treasure for many years to come.

After our work day was done, the girls surprised me with dinner on the beach. We picked up a pizza from one of the restaurants and hit the 440 with a sense of carefree urgency. We arrived just in time to see the sun slowly fade into the horizon. We laughed, took pictures, sang once again and talked about the year to come. It was simple and beautiful.

My hopes for the 26Th year are high, for it is a year that has the potential to be life changing. I don't know what the next 365 days are going to hold, but I know I want to be present for it. I don't want to be so worried about the next that I miss the here and now. I want to soak it all in.

Redefining ordinary.

My life thus far has been filled with brief moments of great excitement, twists and turns, but more often than not I live life in the ordinary. The daily patterns consists of: Get up. Walk Ladybug. School. Walk Ladybug. Work. Walk Ladybug. Homework. Walk Ladybug. Repeat. Days click away at a quick and steady pace with routines that easily fall in to place. This is no longer the case.

Nothing is the same. January 2, 2010 shifted everything. All that I have known, found comfort in and learned to rely on over the past few years is temporarily gone. I am taking on a great adventure. One might even say, a "life changing" adventure. I packed my bags, dropped off Ladybug with the Rebels, said "See you in April" to dear friends/family and moved to Lana'i City, Hawaii for a time period that is just shy of four months. My hope for this blog is to capture my experience of life on Lana'i and share it with all of you who I so dearly love and miss.

It is here in Lana'i where I find myself redefining ordinary.



January 11, 2010 addition:

My roommate Sarah inspired me to purchase Listening to Your Life by Frederick Buechner before I left the mainland. Today the meditation beautifully captured how I am feeling about this whole experience.

Your Own Journey* January 11

What I propose to do now is to try listening to my life as a whole, or at least to certain key moments of the first half of my life thus far, for whatever of meaning, of holiness, of God, there may be in it to hear. My assumption is that the story of any one of us is in some measure the story of us all.

For the reader, I suppose, it is like looking through someone else's photograph album. What holds you, if nothing else, is the possibility that somewhere among all those shots of people you neer knew and places you never saw, you may come across something or someone you recognize. In fact- for more curious things have happened- even in a stranger's album, there is always the possibility that as the pages flip by, on one of them you may even catch a glimpse of yourself. Even if both of those fail, there is still a third possibility which is perhaps the happiest of them all, and that is that once I have put away my album for good, you may in the privacy of the heart take out the album of your own life and search it for the people and places you have loved and learned from yourself, and for those moments in the past- many of them half forgotten- through which you glimpsed, however dimly and fleetingly, the sacredness of your own journey. - Frederick Buechner